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Things to Make You
Smile Updated 9/13/11 
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Churches in Las Vegas This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, Nevada, but there are more Catholic churches than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services put casino chips in the offering plate rather than cash. Since they get chips from many different casinos the churches had some difficulty cashing them in. Then they came up with a simple method to get the chips cashed. The churches send all their collected chips to a Franciscan Monastery for sorting. Once sorted the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.   THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.
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Being a Christian is
Like Being a Pumpkin God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you.  He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff-- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.  Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see.  Submitted by Patty Mitchell |
mon-de-green –noun: a word or phrase resulting from a misinterpretation of a word or phrase that has been heard. Origin: 1954; coined by Sylvia Wright, U.S. writer, from the line "laid him on the green", interpreted as "Lady Mondegreen", in a Scottish ballad
The First Noel The First Noel, the Angels did say Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay In my mind "certain" meant to "guide". I pictured the shepherds being guided to the stable in Bethlehem. All Hail the Power of Jesus' name! All hail the power of Jesus' name! Let angels prostrate fall, OK, this one is kind of icky. I thought it was "prostates". When I was younger I didn't know what a prostate was but I knew that something was falling off the angels. I guess it is just as well I didn't know. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing Hark! The herald angels sing Glory to the newborn king. So, why was only one angel singing and how did we know his name was Harold? I thought it was Hark! The Harold angel sings, "Glory to the newborn king." Silent Night, Holy Night Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon virgin, mother and child In my young mind I figured Mary must be fat. After all, we called her the round virgin. Winter Wonderland Later on, we'll conspire, As we dream by the fire What happens when you lay by the fire too long? That's right.... you PERSPIRE! Bringing in the Sheaves Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves, We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves; Being the intelligent child that I was, I knew that whoever wrote this song made a big mistake. One sheep is a sheep, and many sheep are sheep not "sheeps". God-Shaped Hole by Plumb There's a God-shaped hole in all of us And the restless soul is searching I never knew the name of this song for a long time. If I had I'd have known what the lyrics were. I listened and listened and listened and just couldn't figure it out. All I could hear her singing was there was a "Gotcha-tope" in all of us. It still sounds that way even though I know what she's saying. Football Cheer Whop 'em on the side of the head, a hey-hey. My mom used to go to the high school football games to watch my brothers and myself when we were in band. She didn't go to watch the game, just the half-time show. One day she couldn't take it any more and wanted to know why the cheerleaders would use such a dumb cheer as, "Waffles on the side of the head, a hey-hey." Bad Moon Rising by Credence Clearwater There's a "bad moon on the rise" is how the lyrics go. I used to think they were saying "there's a bathroom on the right" which didn't really make a lot of sense, but if you are a famous band I guess you can sing whatever you want. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles I used to think they were saying "Lucy in Disguise with Diamonds." |
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