 ONE LINERS (AND A FEW TWO-LINERS) These are a mixture of humorous and serious one-liners. |
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It is wonderful what God can do with a broken heart, if He
gets all the pieces.
When dogs leap onto your bed, it's
because they adore being with you.
One good thing
about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
Oh Lord, help me
to keep my big mouth shut until I know what I'm talking about.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there!
Don't waste time on what might
have been, just lie on your back and float.
It is a small
world, but I wouldn't like to have
to paint it.
When God closes a door He opens a
window.
It is hard to
understand how a cemetery can raise its burial charges Above nine one liners contributed by Billye Jean
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Why are goods sent by ship
called CARGO
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Contributed by
Kay Nelson
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and goods sent in a freight
car are called a SHIPMENT? |
CHURCH MARQUEE SIGNS
The best vitamin for a Christian is
B1.
Above nine one liners
contributed by
Kelley CochrunUnder same management for over 2000 years! Soul food served here. Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk! Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church. Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case. Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What's yours? Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due. Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place! Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible. It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees. What part of "Thou Shalt Not" don't you understand? A clear conscience makes a soft pillow. The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive. Can't Sleep? Try counting your blessings. Forbidden fruit creates many jams. Christians, keep the faith...but not from others! Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies. To belittle is to be little. Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you. God answers knee-mail. Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back. |
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Ponder These
Be ye fishers of
men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
 When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there. Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
It is easier to
preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close. 
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever. Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong. God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you? Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. Peace starts with a smile.  A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises. We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. Don't put a question mark where God put a period.  Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church. Forbidden fruits create many jams. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. God grades on the cross, not the curve. God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!" God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage He who angers you, controls you! If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!  Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty! The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us. The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you. We don't change the message, the message changes us. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to..........discourage him. The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given. Above nine one liners contributed by Wayne & Connie Cochrun |
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