It's February already!! You close your eyes for a second and a whole month flies by!!

Saturday was my husband's and my 22nd anniversary. We got married on Ground Hog's Day. We didn't plan it that way. We had been trying to figure out when we would be able to get married. My husband is a high school football coach and was a wrestling coach at the time. He didn't have much free time. The only lengthy period of time he had was the first couple of weeks in August.

I wanted to be able to have a wedding where we could invite people and he didn't. He wanted to go to Las Vegas and get married the very next weekend. I didn't want to do that. Even the day he picked wasn't good because we had to wait until after a wrestling tournament was over before we could drive to Vegas. Well, as we discussed it, he called me, "chicken." That did it. If there was something I wasn't it was a chicken! We got married that Saturday and had a reception about a month later where I got to invite the people I had wanted to have at our wedding.

I have to get to the grocery store this morning. I've been putting it off because the wind has been unusually uncooperative lately. We do get the occasional strong wind here, but it has been blowing almost every day. My family car is a truck with a large camper on it. I know I won't blow over in the wind, but I still prefer not to drive while it is extremely windy if there is a way to avoid it.

So, I need to clip my coupons, check the ads, and go spend some money on food.

I've been wrestling with my mouth lately. Oh, that doesn't paint a very pretty picture, does it? What I mean is my mouth has been speaking things that it shouldn't. Of course, my mouth only speaks things that come from my heart and mind. What my mouth has been speaking are things that have to do with my own "self." I've been standing up for my rights, so to speak.

The main thing I've been doing is pointing things out to my husband that he has been doing to cause me more work. I have also been letting him know when he insults me and when he hurts my feelings. Technically, it is OK for me to speak about these things. After all, we are a married couple and he should be more sensitive and more caring. Right?

Well, I am in the wrong. First of all, I know my husband's personality and I know that this is just the way he is and he isn't going to change. His brain works in a different mode and on a different level than mine does. Most of the things that bother me aren't even blips on his radar screen.

Secondly, the Lord keeps impressing on me that it "isn't about me!" He wants me to not concentrate on the things that offend me and that bother me. He wants me to concentrate on what I am supposed to be doing for Him. What I am doing is taking my mind off the Lord and putting it on myself. I am also, in a way, trying to make my husband feel bad for making me feel bad. I am only accomplishing negative things. I am focusing on negative things.

So, in order to get my mouth to behave itself I have to change the focus within my mind. I have to allow the love in my heart to wipe out perceived offenses. I must focus on the two greatest commandments. If I love God with all my heart, soul, and mind then I will be focused totally on Him and not on myself. The love I pour into Him will pour back into me. I will not rely on people to be kind to me and to love me because I will have the assurance and comfort of knowing God loves me.

The second commandment tells me to love others as I love myself. There you go. I must choose to do this. If I choose this then it will put a whole different perspective on things. I will no longer wrestle with my mouth because my mouth will be speaking things that show love, encouragement, and edification. Simple isn't it? No, it isn't simple unless I choose it and unless I let God help me to do it. Then it is simple.

I owe quite a few people some email. Don't give up on me! It is getting closer to the top on my "to do" list!

Link to the 2/5/02 Bible study.

Wow! We had some strong winds this weekend! One of our big cottonwood trees lost a huge branch. Thank God it didn't damage our patio or our fence. It fell right in between both. Actually, the base of it got caught up in the tree on another branch. My husband had to pull it down.

We get some strong winds during the winter so are pretty much prepared. However, these were extremely strong. The last time we had that strong of winds we lost a lot of big trees. It had rained for three days solid before that one and, as a result, the roots pulled up out of the ground. What a mess that was!

I've been beating myself up lately. I cut my thumb while I was chopping up dried fruit for my husband's trail mix. I did a good job on it! It is taking a long time to heal.

Yesterday I was sewing patches on the back of my son's new varsity jacket. The pins I had in the patches seemed to think that my fingers were pincushions! Then I ended up getting a knot in my back. Probably because I stayed hunched over his jacket so long. It doesn't hurt except when I breathe!

I've been having difficulty motivating myself to exercise. I quit my regular walks a while back and just have not been able to get things going again. My weight has been creeping up and my energy has been dropping.

I bought a Walkman radio/cassette player this morning. I have some tapes I've bought on the prophetic that I'd like to listen to and figured walking and listening would exercise my mind and my body. After inserting the batteries I turned on the radio to make sure it worked. Silly me, I kept messing with the dials because I couldn't hear anything. This wasn't like my last one. My last one had a speaker. This one only sends the sound out the headphones!

I put on the headphones and heard the same praise song I had just listened to in my truck. The one in my truck was on a CD. My brain backpedaled a few seconds and then I realized I had "accidentally" tuned in (perfectly tuned in, by the way) to a Christian radio station without even looking.

The sound on that little thing is wonderful! I like lots of bass and it has an "extra bass" button.

Then, when I read my email after discovering the Christian station, there was one letter in the bunch that spoke of letting God have our weight problems or financial problems. He was calling me to commit my exercise and weight loss to Him through that email! Glory glory glory!

One portion of the email said, "For I called you to walk with Me in every area of your life, no holding back. Let Me have all of you, says your Lord. Let Me have your whole heart, your whole life and trust Me in everything for I am there to meet your every need. Do not struggle on your own. Partake of My grace for My mercies are new every morning."

OK, Lord, it will be You and me... tomorrow morning... we will walk together!

Link to the 2/12/02 Bible study.

God has been pulling me into a deeper commitment to Him. He pointed out how I was doing OK in my spiritual growth, but I was hitting a wall of non-commitment. He drew me into making a vow to Him. You can read about it here.

Since I've made the vows I have been finding myself often having to withdraw my thoughts and words I was about to speak and study them in light of what God wants. Where I was before able to convince myself that God would understand and would forgive the times I wasn't in His will, I could no longer do that. It was imperative that I find out His will and do it every moment of the day.

Am I succeeding? Yes and no. The majority of my actions are being filtered through His will before I do and say them, but my thoughts are often thrashing about in my head and having their way. That's the place from which everything radiates. God is helping me work on it. He didn't lead me to the place of making vows to Him and then say, "I'll check in on you later and see how you are doing." He is standing by me and helping me. He is right there with me in the midst of my struggles.

He also has been encouraging me. He encourages me Himself and He has also sent others to encourage. As a matter of fact, He brought a friend of mine to the exact same place of needing to make a vow with me. We are encouraging each other just by knowing that someone else is in the same struggle as we are. Good things will come out of this. Of that I am certain!

We have a new Bible study on Sunday afternoon/evening. It was birthed of God. It is going to be a place where God is going to light fires in people. We have a diversely gifted group of people. God is already drawing others.

This Bible study is for people who are being called to a deeper level. It does not follow any denominations or traditions. We are desperate to have what God wants to give us. God is the teacher and leader there. We are all free to share what God shows us in the scriptures we are studying. I'm expecting great and wonderful things to happen.

I've begun my walking for exercise. It is the perfect opportunity for me to listen to my teaching tapes. I'm exercising my body and mind at the same time. This is a very good thing!

Link to the 2/19/02 Bible study.

I learned something in studying about Abraham this past week. Of course, Abraham was descended from Noah. There were nine generations of sons between Noah and Abraham. Noah AND ALL THE OTHERS were still alive when Abraham was born!

When I started putting all the facts and figures together I could hardly believe what I was seeing! As a matter of fact, Shem, Noah's son, outlived Abraham by 35 years! Incredulous! I made a chart of my findings and you can find it here.

The main thing I learned after discovering all of this was that we must be very careful not to make any assumptions when we are reading our Bibles. We must be careful not to impose our own lifestyles, customs, expectations, or anything else onto what we are reading! The entire meaning behind the scriptures might be different than what we are assuming. I was assuming that, at the most, Abraham had a great-grandfather still alive. I was basing that on today's lifespans, not those of Noah's time.

It is extremely important that we approach the Word with open minds. We must be careful to not use what we have been taught or what we have learned or what we have experienced to interpret what we are reading! It isn't easy to dump everything we've so carefully stored up in our heads. God can help. Ask Him to help you understand the scriptures. Ask Him to help you get out of a worldly mindset and to be able to look at Godly things through His eyes.

The more I get into the things of God the more I find out that the things of the world are only fluff.

Last week I told you about my making vows to God to choose His will over my own. Oh, dear, this is turning into quite a struggle! I am making some progress, but am slipping and sliding around on my way forward!

There are times when I feel like a total failure. What has been happening is I've been under attack by the enemy. He wants me to flop in my vows and give them up. If I give them up then I will probably withdraw from being used by God since I will have failed to keep promises to God.

I've been having lots of different things coming against me. My mind keeps getting drawn into solving problems that are arising. My body has been under attack as well. Sometimes the combination of things makes me tempted to go into shutdown mode. When I am in shutdown mode I only do things that don't require thought.

I am not going to bow under the pressure! I am going to stand in the power and might that God has given me and I am going to fight the enemy! I refuse to be a casualty of this battle! The war has already been won!

Each morning I renew my vows. I know that God is standing firmly by my side and is encouraging me and helping me. He wants this more than I do. He's the one who placed it in my heart in the first place!

I'm not fantasizing and thinking that I will reach perfection in being able to do God's will every second of every day of the rest of my life! However, I have placed that as my goal and will continually strive towards it! If God gives you a desire then He will be faithful to help you achieve it! That I know for certain!!!

Let's pretend for a moment that you and I are sitting face to face and talking. Do I have your attention? Good! Let's examine an important issue.

Let's talk about the Body of Christ. You and I are both members of the Body. You and I both have equally important positions in the Body. We both have equally important jobs. If I am not doing my job I might be hindering you in doing yours. We are all tied together as one Body and what affects one affects others.

If God lays it on my heart to encourage someone and I don't do it then the person I am supposed to encourage may remain discouraged and not do their job. That, in turn, may affect another member of the Body or may affect their ability to evangelize and, as a result, someone may not hear the salvation message.

If I choose to vary my prayer assignment from what God lays on my heart to pray for then the portion He has given me might go unanswered or undone because of my choice to pray for something or someone else.

We must stay in an open mindset to be receiving the instructions from God that will enable us to be a correctly functioning member of the Body of Christ. There are more jobs in the Body than just pastors, teachers, and evangelists! Those are the ones that most churches push on people. There are many many different things that are necessary in the Body. Even people with the same job, as assigned by God, find that there are still differences in their assignments.

As members of the Body we must work together. We must make sure we are doing our job so the Body, as a whole, is strengthened, equipped, edified, prayed up, and able to be bringing God's Kingdom to the world!

Link to the 2/27/02 Bible study.