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If
you are reading this then you have noticed the huge differences between men
and women. The title of this article drew you here. Perhaps you've wondered
if God was playing a cruel trick by making men and women so different from
each other. Perhaps you have entertained the thought that God must have
made a mistake.
I will review some of the more obvious differences. (Now, please keep in
mind I am generalizing. . .not all men and not all women fall into these
categories, but most do.)
Women are more sensitive and more emotional. They are more caring and
nurturing. Women are more easily sidetracked. They are more observant of
their surroundings. Women try to "fix" problems in other people, whether or
not the person wants fixing.
Men have one-track minds. They don't look to the left or the right. They
don't ask directions. They see something and they go whole-hog to
accomplish it or get it. Men don't sense when someone is out of sorts. Men
forge ahead and don't notice if they are hurting feelings or saying
something they shouldn't.
A man plus a woman is like a two piece puzzle. Each alone is only half
complete. The two together make a whole picture - - a whole unit. The
attributes a woman has plus the attributes a man has work together. Even
their physical attributes are different. (You knew that, right? ha ha ha)
The man has the strength and the woman has the softness. The strength can
protect, build, lift, and do much more. The softness can nurture. A man and
a woman together can do almost anything.
The man can attack a project without being sidetracked by other issues. The
woman can clue the man in on the details. The man can be strong and tough
during hard times and the woman can let the man know what is happening on
the emotional side. Men analyze what someone is saying by listening to the
words they use. Women hear the words, but analyze not only the words, but
the body language, voice tones, and looks the speaker uses. If the man and
woman compare notes they can make a more informed decision based on what
they heard and saw. The man can be the rock, she can be the pillow. Both
things are necessary. The man and woman are designed to be a team. That is
God's plan.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and
shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
Genesis 2:24
Unfortunately, more often than not, the differences between a husband and a
wife cause friction. Each is viewing the same situation through their own
eyes; eyes that perceive the same thing in different ways. The question of
the day is, "How can I learn to work as half of a two-person team?"
The scriptures give us answers on how to treat other people. If we begin
applying those scriptures to our relationship with our spouse we will be
headed in the right direction. That would be an excellent first step in
strengthening the team. Two of the many scriptures applying to
relationships are:
"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in
honour preferring one another" Romans 12:10
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one
another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:32
The
New Testament has scripture that specifically addresses how husbands and
wives should treat each other. Those scriptures follow.
FOR WIVES:
"Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise
also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but
the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body,
but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a
time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together
again, that satan tempt you not for your incontinency. "
1Corinthians 7:3-5
(NOTE: This scripture applies to both husband and wife.)
"Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another
in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto
the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the
head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the
church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in
every thing. ...and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
Ephesians
5:20-24; 33b
"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not
blasphemed."
Titus 2:4-5
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own
husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be
won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste
conversation coupled with fear."
1 Peter 3:1-2
FOR HUSBANDS:
"Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise
also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but
the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body,
but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a
time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together
again, that satan
tempt you not for your incontinency. "
1Corinthians 7:3-5
(NOTE: This scripture applies to both husband and wife.)
"Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another
in the fear of God. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with
the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a
glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it
should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as
their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever
yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined
unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but
I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you
in particular so love his wife even as himself."
Ephesians 5:20-21; 25-33a
"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs
together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
1Peter 3:7
The
important thing to understand about these scriptures is that God looks at a
marriage as an example of the perfect relationship between Jesus and
mankind. Jesus gave his life out of love for his bride. (Jesus referred to
himself as the bridegroom who would leave his bride behind when he went to
heaven.) It is God's will that a husband and wife love each other with the
self-sacrificing, all-consuming, unconditional love that He has for us.
Read the above scriptures again and pray about where you fall short as a
spouse. Pray that God open the eyes of your spouse. One spouse following
God's will is good, but it takes both husband and wife to submit to God's
will to create a strong and healthy marriage.
God will bless your efforts.
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