"Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him."
Genesis 37:3-4

I am writing this with a very heavy heart and tears in my eyes.  I have spent the last five hours listening to my friends whose marriage is falling apart.  The husband left tonight and the wife is devastated.

The wife called me on the phone this afternoon and told me all the things that were happening.  Then, the husband came to my house and sat in my living room and told me all the things that were happening and they were completely different stories.

I listened to both of them and told them both the same thing. I told them that only Jesus could put their marriage back together and that I could not give them advice, but I would pray for them.  I told both of them that what I was concerned about and what was really breaking my heart is what the children are going through.

The husband told me just twenty minutes ago as he sat in my living room that he loved his older son more than he did his younger son.  He said, "My younger son was a mistake. I only wanted one child".  My heart broke when he said that as it brought back some very painful memories.

When I was a child, I felt that my parents did not want me.  I felt that my sister was my Dad’s favorite, and my brother was my Mom’s favorite  I told Mom how I was feeling and this is what she told me, " I was asleep when you were conceived. I didn’t have anything to do with it, and yes, you were not wanted.  The reason your Dad does not love you is because you remind him of me."  I think that is the day when the sadness I felt really became a depression that took years to work through with the help of Jesus.

Parents, I submit to you on the Authority of the Word of God that one day you will give an account of every cruel word that you say to your children.  You wonder why they do drugs, smoke, and drink, it is because they don’t feel loved.  That is not true in every situation.  A child can be loved, wanted and nurtured and still do these things.  However, most cases that I have seen is because the children do not feel their parents love them.

If your children are grown and you said cruel things to them while they were growing up, don’t dwell on it.  Ask Jesus to forgive you and pray that your children will feel how much He Loves them.  Jesus is the only One who can give Peace, Joy, and Love, a Love that is Unconditional and Lasting.

Stop tormenting your children.  Stop putting them in the middle of your fights.  Do not put your spouse down in front of your children.  You wonder why your children don’t show respect.  It is because they are not seeing respect between their parents.

If one of your children comes to you and asks you if you love him or her, what will you say to him or her? Please give all your children the same attention and love so they will never have to ask you this heartbreaking question.

October 1, 2005